








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 421 | 19% |
| Smokes | 624 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 578 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 536 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,626 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flyer wie Broschüren | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | ♛ Mr.Mori ♛ | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ♿YeetSkeleton♿ | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | twiz | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | KEK | 55% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | twiz | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | KEK | 55% | 62 |
| #6 | NicoB | 51% | 47 |
| #7 | debil | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Joguhrt_SM | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NicoB | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | KEK | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | twiz | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ♿YeetSkeleton♿ | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | debil | 2 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twiz | 286 | 0.40 | 9 min |
| #2 | NicoB | 223 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | KEK | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ♿YeetSkeleton♿ | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Joguhrt_SM | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ Mr.Mori ♛ | +6.53 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | KEK | +1.29 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | twiz | +0.38 | 80 | 78 |
| #4 | yeetmeatboi | +0.37 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Joguhrt_SM | +0.33 | 56 | 65 |





