








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2674 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2825 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1147 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2170 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $792,252 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowung | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | xabel | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | wall | 52% | 138 |
| #4 | ✪ Brandon | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | nathaniel lebanesenberry | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowung | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | xabel | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | wall | 52% | 138 |
| #4 | ✪ Brandon | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | nathaniel lebanesenberry | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nathaniel lebanesenberry | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ✪ Brandon | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | wall | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | chowung | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wall | 378 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | nathaniel lebanesenberry | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | xabel | 128 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Brandon | 74 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | chowung | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Brandon | +1.94 | 80 | 43 |
| #2 | chowung | +0.62 | 56 | 59 |
| #3 | wall | +0.57 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | nathaniel lebanesenberry | +0.40 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | jsu | -1.06 | 71 | 66 |





