








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 746 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




100 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4366 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2601 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4861 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5296 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,092,317 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 772 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loli-Kidnapper | 1167 | 0.09 | 35 min |
| #2 | Drasticツ | 1034 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | Crimson | 534 | 0.05 | 16 min |
| #4 | wOlester | 410 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Gerrit | 385 | 0.17 | 9 min |





