








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 471 | 33% |
| Smokes | 307 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 416 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 239 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,928 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | 1mppis | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Markku (etäpuhelin) | 33% | 3 |
| #13 | Lérsson | 33% | 3 |
| #14 | Rollon S1mple | 33% | 6 |
| #15 | k0mub | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeye :) | +3.94 | 55 | 69 |
| #2 | Lärvi | +1.30 | 91 | 55 |
| #3 | SanninPerse | +1.22 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | heGe | +1.15 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | HEGE | +0.85 | 83 | 62 |





