








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1646 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1546 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2330 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1165 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,698 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | acoolboy1245 | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Afatboy2422 | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | buffalo burger | 50% | 206 |
| #4 | YC D Money | 49% | 148 |
| #5 | AI | 48% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nai | 46% | 118 |
| #8 | deadbeatfall99 | 42% | 98 |
| #9 | Illusived3n1al | 40% | 99 |
| #10 | Cha boi | 35% | 26 |
| #11 | PineApple | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buffalo burger | 42 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | YC D Money | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | AI | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | deadbeatfall99 | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Illusived3n1al | 8 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YC D Money | 407 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Illusived3n1al | 212 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | deadbeatfall99 | 141 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | AI | 124 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Afatboy2422 | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YC D Money | +4.97 | 76 | 52 |
| #2 | buffalo burger | +3.35 | 54 | 10 |
| #3 | AI | +1.58 | 37 | 44 |
| #4 | PineApple | +1.30 | 63 | 39 |
| #5 | Afatboy2422 | +0.76 | 46 | 55 |





