








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 582 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1037 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 776 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,686 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeLazy | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | TarKkhal | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | VentCouvert | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | Patuoxun | 55% | 69 |
| #5 | LET HIM COOK !!! | 52% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patuoxun | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | VentCouvert | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | LET HIM COOK !!! | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | TarKkhal | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | BeLazy | 3 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patuoxun | 307 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | VentCouvert | 172 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | LET HIM COOK !!! | 102 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | BeLazy | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | TarKkhal | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patuoxun | +4.84 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | VentCouvert | +1.89 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | TarKkhal | +0.12 | 91 | 42 |
| #4 | BeLazy | -0.84 | 59 | 43 |
| #5 | (つ ◕_◕ )つ | -1.73 | 58 | 56 |





