








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 741 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1424 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1149 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,894 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FL7Xy | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Horan | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Henning Hønse Hud | 69% | 29 |
| #4 | PESTO PINGUIN | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Dyt i bamsen | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | 🆁🅴🅽🆂•🅻🅴🆃 | 57% | 21 |
| #9 | PotatoAim - UrtKraz ¬_¬ | 57% | 35 |
| #10 | Dullemundus | 49% | 35 |
| #11 | GAMMELFAR | 40% | 20 |
| #12 | MAH DRILLA | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAH DRILLA | 7 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | PESTO PINGUIN | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | PotatoAim - UrtKraz ¬_¬ | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Henning Hønse Hud | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | 🆁🅴🅽🆂•🅻🅴🆃 | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dullemundus | 155 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | PotatoAim - UrtKraz ¬_¬ | 148 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | MAH DRILLA | 127 | 0.42 | 2 min |
| #4 | GAMMELFAR | 105 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Henning Hønse Hud | 99 | 0.17 | 2 min |





