










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2178 | 29% |
| Smokes | 506 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 3327 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1490 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,626 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAMBODONUT | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Bayesiansk Statistiker | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Percussor | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Kermint | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAMBODONUT | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Bayesiansk Statistiker | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Percussor | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | Kermint | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Percussor | 16 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Kermint | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Bayesiansk Statistiker | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | RAMBODONUT | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Percussor | 157 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kermint | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bayesiansk Statistiker | 53 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | RAMBODONUT | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAMBODONUT | +1.27 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | Percussor | +0.75 | 53 | 61 |
| #3 | Schizofelt | +0.36 | 51 | 63 |
| #4 | Bayesiansk Statistiker | -1.13 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | Kermint | -4.76 | 37 | 55 |





