








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 600 | 25% |
| Smokes | 875 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 403 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,701 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | cahyono johnson | 43% | 69 |
| #4 | Ayfun | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | netnot | 40% | 68 |
| #6 | martabaxk | 36% | 44 |
| #7 | HEY KAPPA !!! | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | martabaxk | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | HEY KAPPA !!! | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | netnot | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Ayfun | 4 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | cahyono johnson | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEY KAPPA !!! | 234 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | martabaxk | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | netnot | 130 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | cahyono johnson | 63 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ayfun | 43 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEY KAPPA !!! | +2.31 | 74 | 58 |
| #2 | Marxwell | +2.15 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | oG lOc | +2.03 | 56 | 51 |
| #4 | martabaxk | -1.47 | 48 | 57 |
| #5 | netnot | -1.77 | 50 | 39 |





