








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 688 matches | ||
| Wingman | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8366 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7924 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9519 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7393 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,939,239 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL WAAAA | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | JhP | 57% | 134 |
| #3 | Hatsib♡b | 55% | 222 |
| #4 | Ottox the master | 49% | 119 |
| #5 | ? | 46% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIL WAAAA | 57% | 61 |
| #2 | JhP | 57% | 134 |
| #3 | Hatsib♡b | 55% | 222 |
| #4 | Ottox the master | 49% | 119 |
| #5 | ? | 46% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatsib♡b | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ? | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Ottox the master | 14 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | LIL WAAAA | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | JhP | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatsib♡b | 869 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | JhP | 389 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | ? | 250 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ottox the master | 222 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | LIL WAAAA | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ottox the master | +2.08 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | Cool Slice | +1.28 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | JhP | +0.87 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Hatsib♡b | -0.25 | 51 | 73 |
| #5 | LIL WAAAA | -0.28 | 63 | 66 |





