








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2555 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3889 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3026 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2486 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,247 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bravo | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Hike118 | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ℚ︎uantum | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | RALLYBJORN | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Fotzemon | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bravo | 259 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | ℚ︎uantum | 200 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | F | 104 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Archie | 91 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fotzemon | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |





