








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3039 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1356 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2015 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,521 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slicklikerick | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | ♟ Placeholder ♟ | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Anitrom | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | 54% | 91 |
| #5 | Dingl | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slicklikerick | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | ♟ Placeholder ♟ | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Anitrom | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | 54% | 91 |
| #5 | Dingl | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♟ Placeholder ♟ | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Anitrom | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♟ Placeholder ♟ | 146 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Anitrom | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | slicklikerick | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dingl | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anitrom | +5.22 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | +3.93 | 82 | 18 |
| #3 | MyNameIsLuna | +1.98 | 71 | 41 |
| #4 | Dingl | -0.77 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | slicklikerick | -1.22 | 34 | 36 |





