








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4104 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2967 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4328 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3712 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,524,566 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 614 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaRtk0m ☯ | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | Primož Trubar | 55% | 133 |
| 53% | 124 | ||
| 52% | 64 | ||
| #5 | Keeco2k | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 52% | 64 | ||
| #5 | Keeco2k | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Oliver Krško Cigaret | 49% | 43 |
| #7 | Keks | 48% | 102 |
| #8 | z1ggy | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 26 | 0.0214 | ||
| #2 | Oliver Krško Cigaret | 14 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Primož Trubar | 12 | 0.0044 |
| 12 | 0.0047 | ||
| #5 | Keks | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 352 | 0.14 | 10 min | ||
| 301 | 0.25 | 6 min | ||
| #3 | Primož Trubar | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Keks | 179 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Oliver Krško Cigaret | 175 | 0.18 | 4 min |





