








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1267 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 466 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,025 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tUGE | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Ceessar | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | jubeh | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Viller | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | levve | 57% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | toniblacked | 48% | 27 |
| #11 | aNSSI | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | Staffersson | 33% | 12 |
| #13 | Jevvy | 30% | 10 |
| #14 | lepaaz | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | levve | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | jubeh | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Jevvy | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | levve | 203 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | tmzi | 179 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Viller | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | sörsseli | 88 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | jubeh | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jermab | +2.02 | 80 | 76 |
| #2 | Jevvy | +1.78 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | levve | +1.46 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | lepaaz | +1.19 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | jubeh | +0.85 | 70 | 51 |





