










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 944 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 962 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,896 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARIPUS | 46% | 52 |
| #2 | Macabre | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Diamond Dog | 41% | 59 |
| #4 | <haisukainalo> Hivuttautuja | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | Preussi | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diamond Dog | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | sAw | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Macabre | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Jusu | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diamond Dog | 218 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | sAw | 83 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | <haisukainalo> Hivuttautuja | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Preussi | 46 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jusu | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valkuaine | +5.54 | 43 | 70 |
| #2 | Macabre | +1.14 | 49 | 54 |
| #3 | MaCaBr3 | +1.01 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | LARIPUS | +0.57 | 11 | 16 |
| #5 | Preussi | +0.48 | 56 | 48 |





