








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2983 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2731 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2426 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,383 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﮊ€کцک_ұک¢ | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/pesku | 63% | 60 |
| #3 | ʂʜąʀթ ʀѳʂɛ | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | 1tap machine | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Elden Lord | 57% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ʂʜąʀթ ʀѳʂɛ | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | 1tap machine | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Elden Lord | 57% | 51 |
| #6 | _kewk | 56% | 62 |
| #7 | excellent | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/pesku | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ʂʜąʀթ ʀѳʂɛ | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Elden Lord | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | 1tap machine | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ﮊ€کцک_ұک¢ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/pesku | 379 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | excellent | 143 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | _kewk | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ʂʜąʀթ ʀѳʂɛ | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Elden Lord | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1tap machine | +4.47 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/pesku | +2.02 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | ﮊ€کцک_ұک¢ | +1.84 | 57 | 49 |
| #4 | excellent | +0.84 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | Tegridy | +0.14 | 75 | 64 |





