








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2592 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2616 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2023 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2087 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $732,101 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obi-Juan Kenobi | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Mr. T-rex | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Señor Cusco | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | ✮ⓉⓇⒾⓍⒾ ✮ | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | 3AGLE | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obi-Juan Kenobi | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Mr. T-rex | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Señor Cusco | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | ✮ⓉⓇⒾⓍⒾ ✮ | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | 3AGLE | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Cusco | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Obi-Juan Kenobi | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Cusco | 51 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | Mr. T-rex | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | 3AGLE | 16 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✮ⓉⓇⒾⓍⒾ ✮ | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Obi-Juan Kenobi | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Cusco | +6.59 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | Mr. T-rex | +1.93 | 58 | 50 |
| #3 | 3AGLE | +0.67 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | ÐonSツ | -1.14 | 17 | 58 |
| #5 | Obi-Juan Kenobi | -2.94 | 29 | 17 |





