








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 34% |
| Smokes | 571 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 515 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 511 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,243 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TsmartTV | Road To 2K | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | silver0wn | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | Jack | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | T3A | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | Mang0 | 75% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Glutton | 27 | 0.0631 |
| #2 | e1fmun | 11 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | tnoos | 3 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | silver0wn | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T3A | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Dongledore | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | TomzjE | 19 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | The Glutton | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jack | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scooter | +2.79 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | Mang0 | +2.69 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Dongledore | +1.48 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | silver0wn | +0.94 | 59 | 48 |
| #5 | Jack | +0.62 | 57 | 58 |





