








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 252 | 18% |
| Smokes | 241 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,622 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nexialist (Comfortably Baked) | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Senne | 💸Buying skins💸 | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | RAt | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | DraWoX 💲 Buying Skins 💲 | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | szns | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szns | 23 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Senne | 💸Buying skins💸 | 23 | 0.0464 |
| #3 | i like men | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | DraWoX 💲 Buying Skins 💲 | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | RAt | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szns | 139 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | DraWoX 💲 Buying Skins 💲 | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | i like men | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | RAt | 47 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Senne | 💸Buying skins💸 | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |





