








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 941 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 752 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6459 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5400 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6369 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4567 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,617,988 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Milk Man | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | AnJIN | 53% | 199 |
| #3 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Domis | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | вαηαηιღ | 50% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AnJIN | 53% | 199 |
| #3 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Domis | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | вαηαηιღ | 50% | 208 |
| #6 | s a M O s a | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | вαηαηιღ | 26 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | The Milk Man | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | s a M O s a | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | AnJIN | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Domis | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Milk Man | 249 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | s a M O s a | 212 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | вαηαηιღ | 205 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | Domis | 185 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | AnJIN | 169 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Milk Man | +2.83 | 65 | 60 |
| #2 | 🗿⃤⃢🍷R aphaeL✵ | +1.36 | 54 | 56 |
| #3 | 𝐘𝐨𝐃𝐚 | +1.14 | 94 | 67 |
| #4 | Domis | +0.61 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | вαηαηιღ | -0.64 | 67 | 48 |





