








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 965 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 179 matches | 2,278 | |
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1954 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1688 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1322 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1483 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,979 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aelia | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | physics | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Guldklimpen | 72% | 32 |
| #4 | le monde est noir | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | Bolten | 63% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bolten | 63% | 30 |
| #6 | twitch.tv/pkncs | 62% | 92 |
| #7 | ャLalli | 59% | 17 |
| #8 | Keki | 56% | 16 |
| #9 | 7licious | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le monde est noir | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Guldklimpen | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | 7licious | 5 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | twitch.tv/pkncs | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Bolten | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twitch.tv/pkncs | 455 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | le monde est noir | 197 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bolten | 138 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Guldklimpen | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | physics | 99 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | physics | +5.08 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/pkncs | +3.18 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | le monde est noir | +2.85 | 89 | 70 |
| #4 | 7licious | +1.80 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | L1nah | +1.06 | 72 | 56 |





