








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1967 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2967 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2018 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2189 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,390 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fireball | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | mOralz | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | SEB | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | tREE | 59% | 147 |
| #5 | Penguin | 58% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ChRoMe | 52% | 71 |
| #11 | GodSpeed0777 | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | INbouND | 50% | 28 |
| #13 | Sasquatch | 45% | 20 |
| #14 | Legacy | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marky | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Penguin | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | [CSF] Black Cobra - Retired | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | SEB | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ChRoMe | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguin | 899 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | [CSF] Black Cobra - Retired | 471 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | marky | 360 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | SEB | 260 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | ChRoMe | 180 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marky | +1.37 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Plant | +1.30 | 83 | 47 |
| #3 | SEB | +0.92 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | Penguin | +0.78 | 29 | 74 |
| #5 | INbouND | +0.51 | 66 | 76 |





