








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1590 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2511 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2111 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1650 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,669 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Teriyaki | 48% | 44 |
| #13 | h3isenb3rg26 | 48% | 122 |
| #14 | BugSter | 47% | 34 |
| #15 | -Δv- | 44% | 66 |
| #16 | Jewlz | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ɱꞅ؎Ꞙɨꭙꭙꬳꞧ | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | TurboTüte | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | h3isenb3rg26 | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Jewlz | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | XI | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ɱꞅ؎Ꞙɨꭙꭙꬳꞧ | 343 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | XI | 288 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | h3isenb3rg26 | 258 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | -Δv- | 158 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | BALD-PEEK DJA | 139 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALD-PEEK DJA | +5.58 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | XI | +3.80 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | TurboTüte | +1.98 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | mortuus | +1.74 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | -Δv- | +1.38 | 73 | 54 |





