








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1553 | 49% |
| Smokes | 825 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 314 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,971 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TERTER | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Wodden | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | RobGucci | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | shlatt | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | cunnalinguist | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shlatt | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | cunnalinguist | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | whopac | 28 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Daddy | 21 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | pp bum bum | 17 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TERTER | +6.08 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | Snep | +4.50 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | whopac | -0.51 | 60 | 25 |
| #4 | Wodden | -0.70 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | cunnalinguist | -1.20 | 52 | 32 |





