








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2212 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2697 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2439 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2509 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,754 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The United Trickdom | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Professor Trick | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | LeonV | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | 『Smith』 | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Sleepy Joe | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Professor Trick | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | LeonV | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | 『Smith』 | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Sleepy Joe | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Yuozua | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuozua | 6 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Professor Trick | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Sleepy Joe | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuozua | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | LeonV | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | The United Trickdom | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | 『Smith』 | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Professor Trick | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The United Trickdom | +4.06 | 58 | 60 |
| #2 | 『Smith』 | +2.64 | 77 | 36 |
| #3 | LeonV | +0.08 | 61 | 33 |
| #4 | Yuozua | +0.04 | 46 | 42 |
| #5 | Gary | -0.03 | 53 | 57 |





