








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 383 | 29% |
| Smokes | 368 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 420 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,205 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΉΛПZӨ | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Bombombini Guzini | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | KidComptonG | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Zipic | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Jib | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bombombini Guzini | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | KidComptonG | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Zipic | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | Jib | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Schweppes | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KidComptonG | 6 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Bombombini Guzini | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | ΉΛПZӨ | 4 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | Zipic | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zipic | 152 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bombombini Guzini | 107 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | KidComptonG | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ΉΛПZӨ | 16 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Schweppes | 10 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΉΛПZӨ | +1.39 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | KidComptonG | +1.37 | 70 | 33 |
| #3 | Zipic | +1.02 | 52 | 63 |
| #4 | G4merG0d | -0.09 | 43 | 44 |
| #5 | Bombombini Guzini | -0.12 | 74 | 41 |





