








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4010 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2092 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2949 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2836 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,314 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holk | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | πͺπ―. ππ¦π«π¨β§βΈΈ | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | Chair | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holk | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | πͺπ―. ππ¦π«π¨β§βΈΈ | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | Chair | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πͺπ―. ππ¦π«π¨β§βΈΈ | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Holk | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πͺπ―. ππ¦π«π¨β§βΈΈ | 233 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Holk | 120 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chair | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πͺπ―. ππ¦π«π¨β§βΈΈ | +2.66 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | Chair | +1.94 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Holk | +0.68 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | DuNetterMensch | +0.07 | 55 | 57 |





