








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2585 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1444 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1171 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,248 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mear | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | D.T. In The House | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | BALD-PEEK II BENAE | 64% | 42 |
| #4 | RayMon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 60% | 62 |
| #5 | 幹你娘雞掰閉嘴低能兒 | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ĄїŘ➼91❤ | 443 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | mear | 322 | 0.42 | 6 min |
| #3 | 0x1af | 319 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #4 | RayMon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 301 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | M3GUMAO | 162 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.T. In The House | +3.61 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | M3GUMAO | +2.75 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | MrKinoko | +2.69 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | mear | +2.15 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | o1af | -0.29 | 86 | 48 |





