








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2261 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1856 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 907 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,546 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gyéduská | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | SleePPy | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | LevyS | 46% | 83 |
| #4 | Junior | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | [T3R]-Hexon | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [T3R]-Hexon | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | LevyS | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Junior | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Observe | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Ropi | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LevyS | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gyéduská | 83 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #3 | Observe | 64 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Junior | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | [T3R]-Hexon | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |





