








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 523 matches | ||
| Faceit | 487 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12821 | 43% |
| Smokes | 6451 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8424 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1846 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,230,788 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jarloc | 55% | 112 |
| #2 | shmackedcreations.com | 53% | 115 |
| #3 | BIGBOY | 53% | 148 |
| #4 | Frostey | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | GLOOP | 48% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Frostey | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | GLOOP | 48% | 105 |
| #6 | nine | 46% | 74 |
| #7 | FiOS | 41% | 110 |
| #8 | bigsean | 34% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigsean | 17 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | GLOOP | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Frostey | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | jarloc | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | shmackedcreations.com | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nine | 621 | 0.40 | 12 min |
| #2 | jarloc | 614 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #3 | BIGBOY | 354 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | GLOOP | 316 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Frostey | 266 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jarloc | +5.02 | 87 | 80 |
| #2 | shmackedcreations.com | +1.69 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | NcK | +0.85 | 60 | 57 |
| #4 | BIGBOY | +0.55 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | nine | +0.17 | 60 | 63 |





