








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 44% |
| Smokes | 623 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 148 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 685 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,482 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DroopyBalls | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | JBuzz | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Baebrams77 | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | dutty | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | el perro loco | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DroopyBalls | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | JBuzz | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Baebrams77 | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | dutty | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | el perro loco | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dutty | 20 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | el perro loco | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | DroopyBalls | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | JBuzz | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Baebrams77 | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dutty | 293 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #2 | DroopyBalls | 197 | 0.39 | 4 min |
| #3 | el perro loco | 78 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | JBuzz | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Baebrams77 | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jv | +4.55 | 71 | 48 |
| #2 | dutty | +0.63 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | el perro loco | +0.29 | 64 | 45 |
| #4 | JBuzz | -0.44 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | DroopyBalls | -1.54 | 45 | 52 |





