








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 517 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6204 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5021 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5989 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1984 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,538,365 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mongee | 718 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Scuunt | 565 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #3 | Omyn | 376 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | dTc ShittyyPatt | 348 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | fury | 339 | 0.07 | 10 min |





