








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1054 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8107 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9693 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8671 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7118 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,099,376 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Rifo | 21 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | ThundeRainbow ♠ | 13 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | battousai Masai | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 𝕊𝕟𝕠𝕠𝕡 | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | < blank > | 11 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yop | 1986 | 0.24 | 54 min |
| #2 | battousai Masai | 1219 | 0.18 | 33 min |
| #3 | Oyen | 1021 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #4 | ZYЯΣXΛ 👻 | 704 | 0.33 | 18 min |
| #5 | 𝕊𝕟𝕠𝕠𝕡 | 580 | 0.14 | 17 min |





