








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1317 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1358 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 838 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $477,929 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [BuBu]Shockwave | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | [BuBu]HoLzi | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | [BuBu]Guddi | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | m!x.kjU | 24 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bolle1337 | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |





