








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2349 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1830 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2883 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1510 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,165 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malen Kihren | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | МІША ЕКЗОТІКА | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | ZLP | Gatito | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | ZLP | Y@r41k | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | ZLP | COPROSASHA~ | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZLP | shh~ | +4.26 | 74 | 79 |
| #2 | МІША ЕКЗОТІКА | +3.69 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | ZLP | COPROSASHA~ | +1.92 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | Malen Kihren | +1.63 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | ㄖҜㄩ卩卂几ㄒ 卩丨乙ᗪㄚ | +1.25 | 66 | 67 |





