








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 548 | 24% |
| Smokes | 660 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 624 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 452 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,724 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dzi-/C♥/ | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | ✪ JerryATM | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | ymje. | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | Lunatic 狂人 | 38% | 45 |
| #9 | s4my | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaiMingh | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | dzi-/C♥/ | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | s4my | 2 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | Lunatic 狂人 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ✪ JerryATM | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunatic 狂人 | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | :3 | 48 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | ThaiMingh | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ JerryATM | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | dzi-/C♥/ | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dzi-/C♥/ | +3.12 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | ymje. | +2.33 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | ✪ JerryATM | +2.11 | 94 | 45 |
| #4 | Lunatic 狂人 | +0.75 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | Christian Harten | -0.76 | 61 | 60 |





