








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1208 | 37% |
| Smokes | 877 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 539 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 636 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $173,358 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1000fodaz | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | André Navalhadas | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | sibsss | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | Mona Grossa | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | Execute | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1000fodaz | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | André Navalhadas | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | sibsss | 44% | 48 |
| #4 | Mona Grossa | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | Execute | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mona Grossa | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | sibsss | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mona Grossa | 237 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Execute | 128 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | sibsss | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | André Navalhadas | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1000fodaz | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sibsss | +2.28 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | BritaPng | +1.13 | 68 | 68 |
| #3 | Mona Grossa | -0.68 | 51 | 75 |
| #4 | André Navalhadas | -0.88 | 42 | 56 |
| #5 | Execute | -0.93 | 62 | 61 |





