








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 555 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7410 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5865 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5934 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5319 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,215,580 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EsQ^^ | 52% | 87 |
| #2 | Sillizh | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Karjala | 51% | 95 |
| #4 | Mamunen | 49% | 71 |
| #5 | | 49% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mamunen | 49% | 71 |
| #5 | | 49% | 142 |
| #6 | ᠌ ᠌ | 47% | 154 |
| #7 | RUGER' | 46% | 63 |
| #8 | 𝗥𝗮𝗺𝗶 | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | 22 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ᠌ ᠌ | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | EsQ^^ | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | 𝗥𝗮𝗺𝗶 | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Karjala | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᠌ ᠌ | 488 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Karjala | 391 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | | 355 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | EsQ^^ | 147 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mamunen | 117 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EsQ^^ | +3.62 | 77 | 49 |
| #2 | ᠌ ᠌ | +1.62 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | Karjala | +1.49 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | | +1.44 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | VilectronEsa | +0.18 | 73 | 53 |





