








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2382 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2182 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3547 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1567 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,577,676 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawkie | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Crown♛ | 53% | 217 |
| #3 | dr.concrete | 50% | 150 |
| #4 | zeo | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | Tj Kr | 47% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crown♛ | 652 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tj Kr | 451 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | dr.concrete | 326 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tenz | 280 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | EagleEyes | 227 | 0.14 | 7 min |





