








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 999 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5874 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5290 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2450 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4074 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,264 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario Mario Mario | 51% | 219 |
| #2 | russian anxiety disorder | 50% | 144 |
| #3 | ozan | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | BomboNoga324 | 45% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario Mario Mario | 51% | 219 |
| #2 | russian anxiety disorder | 50% | 144 |
| #3 | ozan | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | BomboNoga324 | 45% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | russian anxiety disorder | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Mario Mario Mario | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | BomboNoga324 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario Mario Mario | 806 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | BomboNoga324 | 562 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | russian anxiety disorder | 437 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | ozan | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | don't stop believin' | +6.78 | 93 | 79 |
| #2 | ozan | +1.01 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Mario Mario Mario | -2.89 | 33 | 60 |
| #4 | russian anxiety disorder | -4.69 | 47 | 54 |
| #5 | BomboNoga324 | -5.63 | 26 | 65 |





