








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 359 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1955 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3886 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3636 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2707 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,971 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1851 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaeelJ | 68% | 102 |
| #2 | Allen | 43% | 61 |
| #3 | Katsu Chicken Bento Box | 38% | 42 |
| #4 | Big Ed | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaeelJ | 68% | 102 |
| #2 | Allen | 43% | 61 |
| #3 | Katsu Chicken Bento Box | 38% | 42 |
| #4 | Big Ed | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allen | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | MaeelJ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Big Ed | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Katsu Chicken Bento Box | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Katsu Chicken Bento Box | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | MaeelJ | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Big Ed | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Allen | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basilisk | +4.66 | 51 | 54 |
| #2 | MaeelJ | +1.82 | 64 | 47 |
| #3 | Katsu Chicken Bento Box | -1.93 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | Big Ed | -3.83 | 27 | 30 |
| #5 | Allen | -4.69 | 27 | 34 |





