








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2582 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1835 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2395 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1485 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,862 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | ScottieManny | 46% | 124 |
| #3 | La Bones | 43% | 86 |
| #4 | ЛУИС | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | ScottieManny | 46% | 124 |
| #3 | La Bones | 43% | 86 |
| #4 | ЛУИС | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScottieManny | 16 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ЛУИС | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Sam | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | La Bones | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЛУИС | 339 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | La Bones | 273 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | ScottieManny | 177 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sam | 159 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScottieManny | +2.22 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | Sam | +1.67 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | Muros | +0.87 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | ЛУИС | -1.56 | 31 | 50 |
| #5 | La Bones | -2.95 | 42 | 44 |





