








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 410 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3759 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3923 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3347 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4016 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,177 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Scoobert | 68% | 63 |
| #6 | Warl0ck | 61% | 18 |
| #7 | zwizu. | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | NykxS | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | Ai | 8% | 24 |





