








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3338 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1722 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2124 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1717 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,190 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hans | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | CollateralChaos | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | twosix | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Artemis | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Yay | 55% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1$h | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | JayNepal! | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | RiOZSN | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Artemis | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | jiki | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1$h | 1286 | 0.32 | 40 min |
| #2 | JayNepal! | 442 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | RiOZSN | 233 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | Yay | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | CollateralChaos | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |





