








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 581 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4578 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5251 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3615 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2377 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,647 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sultan of Squirt | 49% | 213 |
| #2 | Rippie Tedd | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | electrez | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Hobbi_t | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sultan of Squirt | 49% | 213 |
| #2 | Rippie Tedd | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | electrez | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | Hobbi_t | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sultan of Squirt | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Hobbi_t | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Rippie Tedd | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | electrez | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sultan of Squirt | 549 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Hobbi_t | 416 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #3 | electrez | 145 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rippie Tedd | 141 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobbi_t | +2.71 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Sultan of Squirt | +0.73 | 57 | 59 |
| #3 | Rippie Tedd | +0.38 | 50 | 63 |
| #4 | electrez | -0.06 | 70 | 56 |
| #5 | Dorno | -1.50 | 67 | 65 |





