










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1131 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,577 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogbobbykellen | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | jinx | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | BING CHILLING | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | The Law | 48% | 122 |
| #5 | tanner | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jinx | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | BING CHILLING | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | The Law | 48% | 122 |
| #5 | tanner | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | cum goblin | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Law | 21 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | BING CHILLING | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | cum goblin | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | ogbobbykellen | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Law | 260 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | BING CHILLING | 144 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | jinx | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | tanner | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ogbobbykellen | 25 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogbobbykellen | +7.28 | 89 | 44 |
| #2 | BING CHILLING | +4.28 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | jinx | +2.72 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | cum goblin | +2.69 | 78 | 21 |
| #5 | The Law | +1.48 | 58 | 49 |





