










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 479 | 32% |
| Smokes | 447 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 322 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,592 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szejn | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Ayteel | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | TOAO | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | donk | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Bibu | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kunai | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | autograph | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | Ronez | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | sterzig | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | azizz | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bibu | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kunai | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | TOAO | 26 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | sterzig | 24 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | autograph | 18 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bibu | +3.43 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | Ayteel | +2.62 | 95 | 70 |
| #3 | DGL | +2.45 | 95 | 48 |
| #4 | autograph | +1.82 | 86 | 48 |
| #5 | TOAO | +1.14 | 94 | 81 |





