








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 106 | 5% |
| Smokes | 719 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 305 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 948 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,748 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imperial | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | ChampionRevali | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | the gnome | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | rubver16 | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | CrazyRonnoc | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChampionRevali | 19 | 0.0279 |
| #2 | CrazyRonnoc | 11 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Chiki | 8 | 0.0314 |
| #4 | Serial Shitter | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Saphixia | 4 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyRonnoc | 160 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Serial Shitter | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | k1n | 64 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chiki | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | the gnome | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |





