








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 561 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Esplay | 44 matches | 1,709 | |
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1328 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1651 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1495 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1294 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,417 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyoyeonbias | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Berik | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Xyz | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | per hacker | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Vaino | 56% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaino | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | GrB | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tetrick Wania ῳ | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Xyz | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | per hacker | 47 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xyz | +4.11 | 76 | 49 |
| #2 | Tetrick Wania ῳ | +3.86 | 88 | 71 |
| #3 | per hacker | +3.36 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | hyoyeonbias | +2.02 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | GrB | +0.79 | 46 | 76 |





