








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1570 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3142 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,230,788 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eternal_Eclipse | 53% | 57 |
| #2 | ★K★Y★S★ | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | shroky | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Rico | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Nate | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ★K★Y★S★ | 51% | 82 |
| #3 | shroky | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Rico | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | Nate | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | ﷺ֎Ѡ🉑ʭѪҖ۞ᵺ₯☻Ѹ | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★K★Y★S★ | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Rico | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Eternal_Eclipse | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | shroky | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Nate | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★K★Y★S★ | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Eternal_Eclipse | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nate | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ﷺ֎Ѡ🉑ʭѪҖ۞ᵺ₯☻Ѹ | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | shroky | 21 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eternal_Eclipse | +2.99 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | ★K★Y★S★ | +1.56 | 91 | 49 |
| #3 | Rico | +0.33 | 64 | 41 |
| #4 | shroky | +0.31 | 70 | 40 |
| #5 | Nate | +0.16 | 77 | 54 |





